Little Milyy Shop

What is confidence? | Assalamualaikum and Hello readers. How are you? I bet most of you might be in cloud nine now. Isn't ? If you ask me why. It is because there are hope in our country because recently we changed government. It was an opposition party which now become our government.Wow. I just feel like I sound a bit political. Lol. But It not that what I wanted to share with my readers. That is not the topic which I wanted to discuss. Maybe we can discuss about that next time. The topic that i wanted to get out my head and chest is CONFIDENCE.  

Well. If that question is being thrown to me, my answer would be NO. I don't have any confidence in myself. I have my darkest days in the past. I do perhaps having depression. But this condition cannot be said easily because I maybe just stress with putting myself in the standard that I may cannot achieve. Why I be so open to say about it now? Well, I guess you might have gone through the stage when you feel worthless. Like what happened to me that is different years ago? Where is the fighting spirit? The determination to be successful? To be someone that your siblings can look up to? What when wrong? How to fix it? All these questions always rang in my head every time and I seem cannot shut them down which eventually disturb my daily routine. Although it not much of daily routine but my whole day.

My younger sister always said that I was not confident enough with myself. She sometimes said that I should man up! Well I agree with her but I don't know what to do. I heard about people said that you need to love yourself and embrace yourself. It is easy being said then done. At least for me lah. I have low confident. I don't see myself as attractive. I am not fishing for compliment thou. It just what I felt. Both my younger sisters at least confident with themselves. Is it because I feel that I different from them? Not just about complexion though. I feel inferior and insecure. I do feel I might have some plus points about me to make me gone through my days. I mean people have weakness and strength right? No ones perfect.

There are times where I thinks people that have high confident level is extrovert person. Well as far as I observe. I am an introverted person. But I like to talk tho. I would love to talk and share opinions. The problem is that I am SHY. When I am talking to a new person, I tend to become clumsy. It it also the case when I am in a new environment and situation where I need to talk to new people. I feel that I am weird. There are so much things that I wanted to do but I just couldn't because of this. You know what I did when I want share my opinion across? I just talk to a mirror. LOL. I feel like crazy person. Hahaha. Or I talk alone. If I don't get it out my chest, it will lingering in my head. My head just always thinking and not shut down. Maigod. I hate that when it happens. 

I have small circle of friend. I may look friendly in social media but in person I am a bit awkward unless I know you for good a mount of time. I am crazy with my friend. I mean my really close friend and if lost contact and need to start all over again I might become awkward again. So it is exhausting. Although my circle of friend is small , I tried to make friends although it rarely happen. LOL. Because I will get scared of what person perceive me. Their impression to me is scary. Maybe I am the one who is overthinking.